Part 8: Wherein Poetry is Appreciated

Music: Highmoon (Tindeck)

Last time in the magical land of Kyrandia, we finally got past the two idiot guardsmen blocking the gate to the port city of Highmoon. The game hasn't made it entirely clear yet, but we're here to secure passage on a boat to get us closer to the center of the world. Where exactly are we going? We'll find out soon. For now, let's check out our surroundings. There's a seahorse fountain to our left, a house embedded into the hill behind us, and a rickety little bridge. We'll go with the house first.



So, where's all the mustard for sale?

We've stumbled onto the mustard distribution center, although it's currently kind of low on actual mustard. Farmer Greenberry needs to step things up. There's a big map on the wall showing what looks to be some kind of shipping route. The map also appears to be on fire.



Mustard man says nothing in response to this. In fact, he hasn't moved at all since we entered.

Hey, this guy's a zombie. What a stiff.

Huh. That's very strange. He just stands there, unmoving, and can't be interacted with. There's not much else in here that's of any use to us, but we can look around and read some of those notes if we like.



I didn't realize the mustard industry was this well developed.

We're no closer to finding ourselves a boat, so let's go back and check out what's on the other side of that bridge.



What the heck is that? That part looks like a fish. I never saw a fish with feathers!

Good question. This screen has a lot of stuff going on. First, there's that huge building made out of what looks like a giant fish skeleton and a pile of mud. There's a guy standing in front of the door, and...



... just like the mustard clerk, this guy is completely unresponsive. He's also blocking the doorway to the fish house, so we can't go that way right now. Let's have a look at that stuff just sitting on the ground, because we're in an adventure game and rifling through other people's garbage is just kind of what you do.

This stuff looks familiar.



Artifical newt eyes. That was my last package!



These look like used potion ingredients.

Huh. This is our stuff. Whoever stole it from our hovel seems to have left it lying around. They also seem to have used it - the wrapper is empty, the orange slice is just a peel. If all this other stuff is ours, then the piece of paper must be...



Let's put it back in the spellbook and see what it is.





We've got that Teddy Bear potion Zanthia was wondering about earlier, and something called a Trance potion. From the list of ingredients, it looks like our thief was here, brewed up one of those and tranced the mustard man and the sheriff. Whoever it is, they really aren't hot on us making it to the center of the world. Well, nothing more to do here than check out one of the other exits from this room. We can either go to the top right, or the docks at the bottom right. We'll try the docks.





Are those fish working?

Now that's a ship. It's got a narwhal on there, some big hooks with bait on them, couple gigantic fish... seems about right for Kyrandia. Let's talk to the captain. Maybe he can get us where we need to go.



Nope. He's been tranced too. Our mystery nemesis did a pretty thorough job. All right, let's go back and check out that other place we could go to.



A huge bunny and a path leading up to some kind of altar.

I wonder how Faun is doing.

The bunny does look a little bit like him, I guess. Continuing up the path takes us...



... here. That looks only mildly dangerous. I'm sure we can make it across with a little effort.

I don't think I can reach the rope...

Nonsense! Just get a running start, and we'll be over there in no time.





Maybe not. But hey, look on the bright side. We had no problems reaching the rope.

All right, we won't be going that way for a while. There is one location we haven't visited yet though.



You can go behind the mustard shop from this screen. Finding that path isn't as hard as it looks since the cursor changes when you mouse over it, and you can also get where we're going by using the back door of the mustard shop.



Must be the Drunk Dragon.

A dank back alley, and a tavern, no doubt full of roustabouts and ne'er-do-wells. Let's barge straight in there!



The door is, for some unfathomable reason, locked. What's that big mechanism to the left of it?



Oh, god no. Clicking the bulbs makes them glow colors, and play little musical cues... same as the fireflies way back in the swamp. I hope you wrote the combination now rather than just forget all about it after solving the treasure cave puzzle! If not, you're going to have to reload a game and check what the current sequence was.

Fortunately, I did write it down. It's exactly the same procedure as before; click the lights in the correct order, and the door unlocks. We can go straight in after that.



Music: Drunk Dragon Inn (Tindeck)

Pirates! And a parrot! And that scarecrow ghost we helped out earlier. It seems these guys all avoided getting tranced, so we can actually interact with them. Surely one of them has to know where we can find ourselves a boat.

There's quite a lot of dialogue here, with different characters, so I'm putting all of it in one 5-minute video.

Video: Drunk Dragon Inn (Youtube)

Let's start with the parrot. He seems to know what he's doing.

Do you know how I can get to Volcania?



Isn't there an altar at the center of the world?
*awk awk* It's just a bunch of hot air! Hot air! Hot air!
I'm skeptical about this whole thing myself.
Beware the Frauds of Volcania! *awk* Beware the Frauds of Volcania!

I'm not sure if that's a reference to something. Either way, it seems the game has finally decided to let us, the player, know where we're going. Volcania, huh. It's got to be that smoldering island on the mustard clerk's map.

Do you know which boat goes to Volcania?



Excuse me. That was a transportation question, not a nautical quiz.

Pirates are well known for being pedants.

So, do you know which ship goes to Volcania?
The Mustard Barge is the only one that even goes close.
The Mustard Barge?

Looks like we do need to un-trance mustard man, then.

How do you think the natives get their mustard?
The natives?
Sure. Cannibals.

This is feeling more and more like Monkey Island by the minute. They better not be wearing fruit on their heads. All right, how about the other pirate?

Do you know how I can get out to Volcania?



I must get to Volcania. It's a matter of national importance!
Forget it. Volcania is just a bunch of baloney.

Wait, is Volcania a real island that's too dangerous to visit, or is it just a made-up myth?

Don't you pirates have a boat?
We've reformed.

Pirates in adventure games never seem to do any actual pirating, do they? All right, maybe the scarecrow knows something about Volcania.



I lost him out in the wheat fields.
I didn't know you would desert your post!
I don't need a morality lecture, thank you.

He's got a point, given that Zanthia has been going around stealing everything she comes across that's not nailed down, breaking into people's houses, tampering with the post, making pet animals cry...

Any idea how I can get a boat to Volcania?
Sorry.

All right, screw these guys. It sounds like the mustard man is our best bet for finding ourselves a ship. All we need to do is figure out how to un-trance him.

It's Pirate Poetry Night!



... of course.

Hey! Get out of my way, wench!
Hush! He's about to begin!



I don't even know what's happening anymore.


Thirsty Dick Richard went down to the water,
His momma said "Dickey, don't wade, in over your knees."
But alas, for her pleas went unheeded, and most unobeyed.
For young Rick was quick, to dive in, and stick,
in the mud, headlong and headfirst.
And as much as he'd squirm, and gyrate like a worm,
His problem was breathing, not thirst.
Do wah, de water, Dickey, Dickey, don't wade.
Do wah, de water, do what your mom said.
Dip de dip, but don't slip,
Won't you please try to keep your knees dry?



Wow. Uh. That sure was a thing. I have no idea if this mess of a poem is a reference to something. It sounds like it might be, but I honestly have no clue. I'm just glad it's over with.

... except we still can't leave, because we haven't recited a poem yet. Nothing to do but get up on that stage.



Excuse me... HEY! Thank you.


Nobody barfs, much on the wharfs,
But rub a dub dub, and most lose their grub.
Heave, heave, ho, ho,
Over the rail your biscuits go.



I... I don't even know what to say. Let's just get out of here.



And now there's a giant octopus who looks to be running a literal shell game. Of course. I need to go have a lie down. Next time, we'll talk to this weirdo, figure out what his deal is, and start solving some actual puzzles.